Wednesday, January 16, 2013

This is what chronic illness has done to me


I am so used to being in pain and feeling tired, kinda feverish, and rather cruddy that when I get sick, I usually pass over it, thinking that it’s just a Lyme disease flareup. I never see my Lyme specialists anymore because I am getting better and better all the time but when I do get sick, I wait and hope for it will go away on it’s own because I am so used to thinking of sick as something that doesn’t pass, as something that I can’t do anything about. And because I have a horribly irrational fear of ever letting my regular doctors know that something is wrong with me. Not because of them, but because then it goes onto my record and the insurance companies know that I’ve been sick.

From my experience, insurance companies will quite literally ruin your life in order not to cover any health care and now I believe that having any medical record besides annual checkups and recorded good health is a liability.

So I’ve been having sweating through the quilts fevers and chills for the past couple of months had vague abdominal pain and I just ignored it or, when it was really bugging me, chalked it up to Lyme Disease.

Well, finally about two weeks ago I realized that this probably wasn’t Lyme disease but it took me until two days ago to realize that not only could I do something about it, but I would feel better too if I took care of it. So I did what I never do and saw a doctor. Bladder infection. Antibiotics. Bam. Easy!

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